the celestial consciousness vehicle

rotates another cog and two teeth click into synchrony. hydrogen condenses and fuses, witness the birth of new elements, witness the first example of differing density, the first thing with mass composed of various elemental ingredients, the swelling balls of matter continuously sucking everything heavy in, blowing all else outward, hazy gaseous halos crowning pits of floating dark iron.

and then how miraculous, the first thing of matter that became able to replicate its structure uniformly and reliably! the first chemical collaboration that developed an inherent propensity to disperse itself, an ability to maintain a complex microenvironment sensitive to denaturation by its own native environment, a method by which to traverse spatially around its environment, a chain of reactions that allowed it to derive energy by metabolizing nutrients, a pathway that permitted the excretion of wastes back into the environment without compromising its susceptible inners, systems of communication both within between its own functioning parts and without between others of its kind!

and yet, as hard as this is to identify with, this is our legacy. we are of this stuff, and we overlook it both in ourselves and in everything alive around us everyday. just a passing concern.

reflections in a pool / the flash of a silvery carp

gazing at my face in the pool, understanding it has just as much justification to exist as the one affixed to my head, and appreciating its uncanny resemblance, i am startled to see it warped and disfigured by a ripple in the water. the silvery carp kisses the surface with a restless gaping mouth and hungrily gulps some air. the reflection marred, only my face remains as a representation of itself, and it is awarded uniqueness.

this past couple of weeks has found me in a state of acceleration. i have spun clean of the highest turbulence and sit bewildered and slightly dazed, but also feeling sure. of what it is hard to say. perhaps of my improvements in discipline and understanding. i have not let my baser feelings get the best of me, and i have made progress in cutting the positive from the negative, and swallowing only what won't poison me.