i'm going a-camping!

this afternoon i shall join some of my compatriots as we journey down into the heart of our country's wilderness, the overgrown and dangerous state of New Jersey. who can predict what treacherous beasts shall befall our crew when we disturb their murky dens of savagery? i, for one, am bringing along my trusty combat knife, my powder musket, a journal to catalogue any monstrous creatures new to science, some bottles of alcohol to preserve specimens, a box of matches to start the fires that shall cook our meals of wild boar and stag, a set of cotton pajamas, and an Anniversary Edition of the family board game Monopoly. if we should meet some natives, assuming they are friendly and can communicate somehow to us, this board game shall provide a duel purpose: it shall both provide as a social lubricant and teach them a thing or two about civilization. and if they are aggressive, my musket will pacify them all the way to the grave!

we shall return on the afternoon of sunday.

my return to the world of mmorpg's has been as smooth as skiing down a slope of warm butter. so smooth that i am a bit frightened at my steady immersion into the In-Game. it really it much nicer than the Out-Game sometimes, what with its beautiful forests and colorful fauna, not to mention its giant glowing purple crystals jutting out of the ground and its gorgeous draenei women. i honestly don't know how all this will play out. i have heard stories of responsible individuals losing all sense of personal industry and committing themselves to quests like gathering Skittering Crawler meat and finding Stillpine Furbolg totems. at least that's what i've been doing these past two days.

camping time.

massively multiplayer online role-playing game

is that not an allegory of life? are we not all but "role-players" participating in a massive environment, interacting with others to further ourselves? well, we may not all seek to "level-up" and "complete quests for xp," but you get the idea.

i have decided right here and now to catalogue all the vagaries of my day-to-day existence in a blog, which has been unanimously decided as the ubiquitous and most necessary form of expression. i have been leading a life of shame -- unemployed, vagabonding, pilfering the time of other more employed individuals, and volunteering for non-profit orgs. some might heckle me, shouting, "you are the lowest rung of the social ladder! why are you wasting your time wandering aimlessly around manhattan when you could be searching for jobs every breathing second of your life? why are you spending non-replenishing funds with your friends when you should be committed to ensuring a means of replenishment?"

oh, do i listen. but i believe i am above all that.

find a job? ha! that's what "normal people" do to make what they call "a living." it's like that one lemming who wants to stare at some meadow flowers while the others are bounding towards the open sea. one dashing lemming stops dead in his tracks to yell, "what are you doing with your life? don't you see the rest of us migrating to our ages-old vacation spot, which will surely not after eons have been intersected by an unforgivingly deep body of water?"

so i have decided to celebrate my commitment to iniquity by journeying out into the wilds of forest hills to purchase world of warcraft. i had played this mmorpg three summers ago, disguised as an avatar of an orcish hunter with a rotating cast of pets including a saber-toothed cat and an industrious crab. the experience was fulfilling, since i could accomplish many of my life's dreams in-game that were distinctly impossible out-game. these included slaughtering a wild boar with a battle axe, engaging pirates with a shotty musket on a beach, traipsing around a tropical jungle donning a full suit of armor, and commanding a saber-toothed cat to "sic 'im!"

unfortunately, in order to acquire the game post-haste, i must venture into the unpredictable world of Out-Game, which could result in any number of unpleasant exchanges. daboo my warriors!