massively multiplayer online role-playing game

is that not an allegory of life? are we not all but "role-players" participating in a massive environment, interacting with others to further ourselves? well, we may not all seek to "level-up" and "complete quests for xp," but you get the idea.

i have decided right here and now to catalogue all the vagaries of my day-to-day existence in a blog, which has been unanimously decided as the ubiquitous and most necessary form of expression. i have been leading a life of shame -- unemployed, vagabonding, pilfering the time of other more employed individuals, and volunteering for non-profit orgs. some might heckle me, shouting, "you are the lowest rung of the social ladder! why are you wasting your time wandering aimlessly around manhattan when you could be searching for jobs every breathing second of your life? why are you spending non-replenishing funds with your friends when you should be committed to ensuring a means of replenishment?"

oh, do i listen. but i believe i am above all that.

find a job? ha! that's what "normal people" do to make what they call "a living." it's like that one lemming who wants to stare at some meadow flowers while the others are bounding towards the open sea. one dashing lemming stops dead in his tracks to yell, "what are you doing with your life? don't you see the rest of us migrating to our ages-old vacation spot, which will surely not after eons have been intersected by an unforgivingly deep body of water?"

so i have decided to celebrate my commitment to iniquity by journeying out into the wilds of forest hills to purchase world of warcraft. i had played this mmorpg three summers ago, disguised as an avatar of an orcish hunter with a rotating cast of pets including a saber-toothed cat and an industrious crab. the experience was fulfilling, since i could accomplish many of my life's dreams in-game that were distinctly impossible out-game. these included slaughtering a wild boar with a battle axe, engaging pirates with a shotty musket on a beach, traipsing around a tropical jungle donning a full suit of armor, and commanding a saber-toothed cat to "sic 'im!"

unfortunately, in order to acquire the game post-haste, i must venture into the unpredictable world of Out-Game, which could result in any number of unpleasant exchanges. daboo my warriors!