cats vs dogs

i was arguing the superiority of domestic felines to canines in my office when i stumbled upon a great revelation. shamelessly quoting myself, i quote: "convincing one's cat to be affectionate is an art form. upon arriving home from the shelter with your new cat, she does not instinctively jump into your lap and slather you with hot bestial saliva! she dashes terrified under your couch and peers out at you with justifiable fear, for what small animal should voluntarily enjoy being stroked by the large hairless mitts of a gargantuan, possibly predatory, bipedal monster? i say to you, fellows of my workplace, workers in cooperation, that just as two dueling minds play not a game of chess with but two pieces, one invested in intellectual satisfaction should not prefer an easy conquest of a pet's affection, but rather a long, arduous, and romantic battle with crying rains of arrows and the ceaseless whinnying of rearing steeds–which is very much like living with a cat."